A Step to Nowhere Read online

  “Excuse me! Excuse me, lady in the gray suit!”

  He’s talking to me.

  I increased the pace. There was a road to the right, a forest of houses to the left.

  What should I do? I’ve never run from anyone and this is another planet!

  “Lady in the gray suit!” The voice was louder and closer. “We need to check your identification code. Stop, please!”

  Yeah, right. That’s gonna happen. To the left and through the river of cars, or to the right and to the buildings? People passed me; they walked toward me, but didn’t look at me. As if I was a ghost in some supernatural movie. But I saw their eyes. They were scared. Like they would turn to stones after looking at me.

  “Miss!”

  I heard the pounding of feet behind me. I looked back at them. One of the men in green ran after me, the other one talked into some black thing that looked like a portable radio. The girl put her hand to her forehead as a sunshield and watched me.

  Why did she do it? Why? Was she an honored citizen of her county? Did they get rewards for spotting the criminals? What?

  To the buildings.

  I didn’t wait for the man in green to catch up with me. I dashed to the gray box-shaped buildings, knocking down pedestrians on my way. No one screamed at me for that; they didn’t call me names. Like nothing had happened. I would think they were robots if not for their eyes, full of fear.

  “Stop! Now!”

  Don’t look back. Two tall apartment buildings on my way and between them a gap, wide enough to let two people through. I ran between two buildings, squeezed between heavy walls on both sides, taking in muggy and dusty air. Behind my back, the sound of running feet. Orders to stop by the word of law. I tore off my glasses. No conspiracy needed. If they didn’t catch me I was going to get lost and cry for them to arrest me.

  An empty courtyard, overgrown with trees. I crossed it without any idea what I was doing or where I was going. I didn’t know where to run, where to hide. I saw a rock on the ground and grabbed it, almost falling nose down in the dust. I turned to the man chasing me and threw the rock without aim. I didn’t expect it to hit the chaser in the face, but it did. The man wailed, grabbed his cheek that turned bloody, shook his head, and screamed something unintelligible.

  I ran further and saw a wall of entrances with porches leading to them. I stopped, gazing around, suffocating.

  What am I doing? Where am I running? They will find me anyway. They will kill me. Where?

  There was another gap on the left. I spanned the distance with all my might, trying not to think of the air burning my throat, of my lungs refusing to breathe. Once, I glanced back and saw that the man had fallen behind, but kept following me. The side of his face was covered in blood. He ran and now he had … a gun in his hand? No way! What was he going to do? Shoot me right now? Great! How’s that for an adventure?

  I skimmed between the buildings and heard the sound of exploding glass before getting there. He was shooting, son of a bitch!

  Another courtyard. I stopped, searching for another way to escape, breathing hard. Another passageway, and I ran there. I didn’t understand where I was, where the road was, or what was happening. I couldn’t breathe, my throat was burning, my legs were shaking. Another courtyard, then one more. The man had gotten lost somewhere, but I kept running. I didn’t know how many yards I had crossed; I stopped noticing anything. In the next courtyard I stumbled and fell, scratching my left palm and kissing the ground.

  I coughed when dust got into my mouth and lungs.

  “Here!” I heard a woman’s voice. “Here! Hurry!”

  I started to stand up, looking around, and saw an older woman by one of the entrances. She waved to me.

  “Hurry! Before they see you!”

  What could I lose? The woman didn’t look dangerous and I rushed to her. In the next moment we were inside the building. The door slammed shut behind our backs.

  “Who are you?” I whispered.

  “I’ll tell you later,” she whispered back and reached her hand to me. I accepted her help and she pulled me after her. “I know who you are. That’s important.”

  CHAPTER 13

  We entered a spacious, clean lobby then walked into a clean, bright elevator, and rode to the tenth floor. The woman didn’t say a word on our way, just held my hand tightly and watched the numbers changing on the screen at the top.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, but she didn’t reply.

  She let my hand go, unlocking a metal door, and immediately locked it again when we entered the apartment.

  We were in the dark, narrow corridor that smelled of burnt milk and the woman grabbed my hand again.

  “I received a call,” she said, pulling me into the light. We entered the small room, chock-full of books from top to bottom. I noticed a Nabokov volume. “They told me the irnaner is being chased. Sit down.”

  I didn’t ask what irnaner was, why it was chased, or why I should know about it, but I sat on one of four chairs, standing around the wooden table in the middle of the room. There was a window in front of me, but I saw only a silhouette of another building. The room I was in also had a bed, covered with an old, gray blanket. A plain, plastic chandelier was under the ceiling, the floor was wooden and also old. I didn’t notice a big difference between this apartment and one on my planet.

  The woman knew about me. How and what exactly?

  “Wait a second, please. I burnt my sheky while I was talking on the phone. Do you want something to drink? Why am I even asking? Of course you do.”

  I had sand in my mouth and hadn’t revived myself yet. I hadn’t started thinking reasonably, hadn’t accepted the reality of the events, and waited for everything to be over. Something banged in another room. I looked at the clutter of books on the table and picked up one of them. “Planet One to Planet Two. Phrase-book.” Jesus. I wanted to check inside, but the woman entered the room and gave me the glass filled with some light-green liquid.

  “Is pochin okay?”

  I nodded. If only I had known what it was. Returning the thin book to the table, I accepted the glass.

  I wanted to sniff the drink before trying it, but was afraid to offend the hostess who sat opposite me. She drank the same from her glass.

  I took a sip, then another. It was okay. Something resembling diluted apple juice. I’d never been a fan of it during childhood, but for some reason liked to have it with pizza when I became an adult.

  “I don’t know how long you can stay here,” the woman said as she put the empty glass on the table. Somebody will inform on you. I think you have time to take a shower if you want. You have to clean your wounds.”

  I looked at my scratched hands. They didn’t hurt. Did this woman really know who I was? I didn’t know what to say. Hi, I’m Samantha Anderson. Yesterday I was bored with life – today I have escaped my own murder, fled from police, and rolled in the dirt. At the moment I was drinking something in somebody’s apartment. In a parallel universe. The woman in front of me could be anyone in my world … Just a minute … I swallowed and put my glass on the table. She really could be anyone. She was a teacher in the art school where my mom made me go for a year. She was a kind woman on my planet, even though she could be strict when it was necessary.

  “What’s that?” the woman asked.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head. What should I say? How should I start the conversation? Thank you for saving me, I’m from Planet Two, I need to find a way to get home.

  “Your face seems familiar to me.” The woman screwed up her eyes.

  I shrugged and started to drink again, trying to find the words. Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? I had a feeling the woman was mistaken about my origin. She probably thought I was somebody else.

  “What did they assign to you?” the woman asked. “I’m Velma, by the way.”

  “I know … I mean … I’m Sam.” I put the glass back on the table.

  “What did they assign to you? Do you even
know?”

  I shook my head. She absolutely did not know who I really was.

  The woman covered her face with her hands and sat like that for a few seconds before looking at me again.

  “The old man is getting completely mad,” she said. “No one can stop him. Everything we try to do is just a drop in the ocean. You’ve heard of us, right?”

  I shrugged.

  “Hlifian?”

  I had to explain to her who I was. I had to explain why I didn’t understand what she was talking about.

  “I’m sure you have. There’re not too many of us, just a few hundred all around the country. People are afraid to join. If somebody snitches on me, the movement will lose another member. I will have to hide, maybe even move to a different city. Honestly, I want to get out of here. The planet Two would be the perfect place, but it’s not safe either. They can find anyone there if they want. It’s good I don’t have children, so I don’t have to worry about them. I wanted a daughter when I was younger, now I’m happy to be alone. Do you play lottery?”

  I shook my head.

  “I don’t believe them. Something’s wrong. I’m not alone in thinking that. Everyone in the movement has their opinion about the lottery and it’s not good. We can’t find out though. Think for yourself. Can this dictator make people happy? He’s not capable of gestures like that. He doesn’t need it. Do you want something to eat?”

  “No, thank you,” I said. I didn’t want to drink or eat. I suddenly felt exhausted. I wanted all of this to be over, I wanted to be home. In my bed. Ray? His place wasn’t even in my dreams.

  “You have only one choice,” the woman said as she walked to the window and looked outside. “You must go to The City of Lost. Life is not sugar there, but if you have Bristow’s dogs on your tail, there’s nothing else you can do. Maybe you’ll be lucky and leave the country.” The woman sat in front of me again. “Of course, very few people have that kind of luck. Most of them lie down, stay at the limits. I’ve heard of some who did it. You are so young and beautiful, what could they assign to you? Whose road did you cross?”

  I had no idea what she was talking about. It was confession time. Maybe she could help me? Even to get to Park Street?

  “Velma,” I said.

  She screwed up her eyes.

  “You’re not an irnaner?”

  “I don’t know what irnaner is.”

  “Everyone knows that.”

  “You see … I … How should I say it? … I’m not exactly from here. I’m from Planet Two.”

  The woman’s eyes became big and round, her mouth hung open, she jumped from the chair, knocking it over, and almost fell herself. I rushed to her, grabbed her arm for support, but the woman pushed me away.

  “You’re lying!” she screamed.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “They can’t get into our dimension!”

  “They don’t want to, trust me. They are being dragged in here. Taken and drugged. I don’t know how to explain better. No one asks our permission or desire.”

  The women stretched out her arm in front of her, like I would attack her and bite. She was breathing hard and didn’t take her fearful eyes away from me.

  “I’m not contagious,” I said.

  “It cannot be,” Velma whispered.

  “Tell me about it. You think you’re surprised. Imagine my reaction! Just yesterday, I had no idea that a parallel world could actually exist. Or you. Today—I’m here. Hooray! Maybe you consider us as exotic animals, but we are the same as you are. Maybe a little better.”

  “What are you accusing me of?” the woman mumbled. She looked confused, but kept holding her arm outstretched in my direction.

  “You personally? I have no problem with you. You probably saved my life. But there’s at least one person who deserves the title – Jerk number one from Planet One.”

  “The person from our planet contacted you and brought you here?” Finally the woman dropped her arm and only blinked.

  “Oh, yes! There was some kind of contact, all right,” I answered angrily and could hardly hold my tears. “He pretended to be someone I used to be in love with. His … I don’t even know … leaders … found out about it and here I am. Nice to meet you. His majesty was pleased to save me from the microwave, but now I have to take care of myself … myself. I have no desire to stay long on your planet. I want to go home, but I don’t know if I can get there in the near future. If ever.”

  The woman covered her mouth with her hand and gazed at me as if I was either Goddess or Demon.

  “We’ve heard rumors about rule-breaking,” she said, barely audible, “but nothing concrete. We didn’t know if that was the truth. Have you been in the corporation?”

  “Not of my will; but yes.”

  “We’ve heard they have a death block there. Is it true?”

  “They call it something more sophisticated, but it’s the same crap … sorry , thing.”

  Velma’s other hand went to her heart area.

  “So, it is true. Oh, my Mar. It’s even worse than we thought. Girl, you came to lleh.”

  I think she meant hell. And yes, I already knew that. Thank you very much.

  CHAPTER 14

  A few minutes later, when I had taken a shower and rubbed my hands with some white, stinky cream that was supposed to heal my injuries, I was sitting at the table again and Velma was fussing around me. She was brewing tea following my instructions. Regular black tea like we had on my planet. From my planet.

  “People bring souvenirs from Planet Two all the time.” Velma looked at the tall mug impatiently. It was covered with thick cloth and tea leaves were infusing under it. “There’s a little store where you can buy different things. My friend bought this for me for my birthday. Crazy money, but she can afford it. I’ve heard you drink it all the time. Is it true?”

  “They didn’t lie to you about that.”

  I took the tea that had become dark brown, and poured it into two white cups. “It’s good with lemon and sugar.”

  “I don’t have a lemon,” the woman said. “But I do have some sugar.”

  She ran to another room and returned with a bowl filled with lump sugar.

  “Is this okay?”

  “It’s great.” I dropped one little cube into my cup, stirred it, took a sip, and burnt my tongue. Of course. “Careful, it’s hot.”

  The woman smelled the drink, but didn’t venture to try it.

  “It’s strange that you don’t have tea,” I said.

  “We’ve read about this drink in the history of Planet Two. We haven’t developed it. We drink coffee here. We used to.” The woman blew on the tea and drank a little. “It is hot! The taste is interesting. You also have coffee, right?”

  “Right.”

  “We can’t buy it here anymore. Well, sometimes I can find it and stay in a huge line to get a small box.”

  “Shortage?”

  The woman looked at me for a few seconds then grabbed the dictionary and started to turn the pages. She stopped on one, smiled, returned the book to the table.

  “Shortage. I’ve heard it is going to be illegal soon, just like alcohol.”

  “Alcohol is illegal? We used to have that, I think. Long time ago.”

  “We know. Alcohol, and now coffee, are called stimulants of violence. They don’t like violence.” Velma’s smile was sad. She took a sip of tea, then another one. “Violent man doesn’t like violence.”

  “What’s happening on your Planet?” I asked.

  “It’s a very long story. I called our people and they are going to be here soon to take you to The City of Lost. You’ll have to stay there for some time even though it’s not the right place for you. It’s the only place where you can stay safe while we are thinking on the options. You can’t be here. On this Planet.”

  “I know. But I need to get to Park Street Twelve. How can I do that?”

  “What’s there?”

  “Somebody’s waiting for me. They promis
ed to help. If I can get there.”

  “They will help you to get inside of the corporation?”

  “The person who helped me to come here and who made a promise – is a big boss there.”

  “I believe that. Everything and everyone is for sale. Why didn’t he send you back right away? I don’t understand.”

  “It’s a long story,” I hugged the cup with my hands. “Tell me why everything here is so … gray and bland? Why does everyone wear some sort of uniform?”

  “It wasn’t always like this. Only the last eleven years. From the moment the lottery started and Bristow hogged everything.”

  “Bristow?” I almost dropped the cup I was moving to my mouth. My namesake. She said this name before, but I thought I’d misheard. Bristow’s dogs.

  “He’s a demon in a human body, a dictator. He put our country in darkness. Destroyed it.

  “Is he the president?”

  Velma waved her hand.

  “Our president is just a stick. Bristow owns everything. It started twelve years ago and eleven years ago people started to disappear. At first he kept everything quiet, but then he lost fear and conscience. Killing his enemies became a law. I’ve read about a period like this in the country of Russia. Stalin?”

  I nodded.

  “Stalin in this reality was a bad actor and an alcoholic. He died from the bottle. Maybe it is good they have forbidden alcohol. I know your history, that’s what I meant to say. What we have now is so, so bad. People have been killed. For us, the biggest dream is to get to your planet. From the time these trips started, it has become our only hope. Get a transfer to your planet and maybe stay there. Your life is wonderful.”

  “Not perfect.”

  “Disepare for us. Now I know what’s going on there and it’s horrible.”

  “So, you want to live on our planet?” It flattered and made me mad at the same time.

  “It’s understandable.” The woman gave me a guilty look. “The freedom of choice. Life. Bright colors. By the way, Bristow banned bright colors as stimulating, therefore leading to violence. He even banned fashion. That’s why for many years we have been wearing this.” Velma pulled the overall on her chest. “I threw away my last dress last week because it became too old. Everything on your planet is different. That’s why people play lottery. You can win money, but the main prize is a trip to Planet Two. I’ve heard they help to immigrate there.”